Last night, after numerous trips back and forth from my old house to my new home, I sat on one of the packing boxes and looked around at life's stuff piled around me. Tears filled my eyes followed by some needed laughter. Twenty two years of living a certain way is radically changing for me this week. From a large home that I watched my sons grow up in, to a townhome where I will soon see each one move into their adulthood, my physical dwelling may be downsizing, but my experiences are expanding rapidly.
Along with the move and opening my new business, excitement pops me out of bed almost every morning. I say almost because there are other days when the feeling of fear fills my body and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. The answer is yes, but that doesn't negate the sense of uncertainty at times. When the list of to-do items looms large and I'm feeling unsure of how to proceed, there are fleeting moments where my survival instinct says, "wouldn't it be easier to just go back to the way things were?"
Have you ever experienced this? Times when everything seems so foreign, so uncomfortable, so unknown, that it makes you want to run back to the old way, even if that way is broken? Starting and running my own business is filled with unknowns. Being divorced is also filled with uncertainties. But whenever I feel the insecurity creeping in, I remember there is no right way to do this; I get to make up my own new way. I've also noticed that connecting with others while I'm in the throws of change helps keep me flowing versus capsizing. The concept of connecting with others isn't some revolutionary idea. We need one another, especially during times of change. But, it's something I used to put off because I thought I didn't have the time. During the last two months, I've connected with friends, students that have become friends, family, and neighbors more than ever. Listening to others, sharing our experiences, and reminding one another how loved we are helps put the winds of change in perspective.
I marvel when I hear friends share their interaction with change. I've noticed that I am surrounded by empowered individuals who don't like to hide under the covers when the unknown arrives. These are friends that greet the challenges of change with open hearts and excitement in their eyes. They are not victimized nor do they wish for something different. They know change brings fresh ideas and a chance to start again. These are the same gracious souls that keep reaching out, offering support and a listening ear even when I know they have their own challenges and time constraints. They are a reminder that my presence, my ability to show up, reach out, and share with someone else helps us collectively. Now I've realized, more than ever, that the statement, "the only thing constant is change," is an invitation for us to flow with our experiences versus fighting against its momentum.
I could end this piece by encouraging you to go to a yoga class or practice meditating every day to find your center amongst the whirlwinds of change. But, instead, I leave you with this thought: connecting with others strengthens the individual as well as the whole. Yes, finding your center is crucial, but so is sharing your love and support with someone. Maybe today is the day you can take a moment and be with someone else during their time of change. Take a walk with someone, call them, meet for a drink, or simply sit down after a class and share your time. Your gift of being present will make its own type of change - for the betterment of us all.